Ain't no Party Like a Fëanorian Party

'Cause a Fëanorian party ends with everybody either dead or on fire.

Call me Rose. It's not my real name, but it's my preferred pseudonym. I like science, sharks, feminism, the Silmarillion, and Welcome to Night Vale.

Fair warning: I’m extremely flippant, and I can often come off as aggressive even when I’m not intending to be, so I’d advise not taking anything I say too seriously. Just assume I’m being facetious.

I have an art blog!

thefluffingtonpost:

PHOTO OP: Lovebirds

Via torus23.

Love animals as much as we do? Check out explore.org's network of live animal cams.

(via rabababe)

thefrogman:

On this day in 1492, George Washington crossed the Atlantic Ocean in three mighty ships… the Nina, the Piñata and the Santa Claus.
Washington and the other Americans were fleeing the evil Britons. The Britons believed in taxation without representation and back then there was no TurboTax, so that was a really big deal. 
To infuriate the Britons, Washington decided to waste a bunch of their tea, dumping it into the sea. The Britons jumped in after the tea, trying to drink it as they swam around in it. All you could see were Englishman’s pinkies sticking up through the water.
One must always extend his pinky whilst drinking tea. 
This meant war. 
The Americans and the Britons lined up on two sides of a field. They raised their muskets and began firing at one another. At no point did anyone think to hide behind a rock or a tree. After hours of firing their weapons and making no attempts to dodge the deadly projectiles, the only two men left standing were George Washington and King Leopold Womplebottom the 8th.
They were both out of ammunition so they charged at one another with their bayonets raised. Before they could reach each other, Jesus Christ descended from the heavens and turned their weapons into armadillos. He liked changing things into armadillos because their name sounds so much like “arm dildos” and it makes him giggle. 
The Lord asked, “Why are you two fighting this battle?”
George replied, “He taxed us a bunch and took away our freeeeeeedom.”
King Womplebottom replied, “He wasted tea and I’m pretty sure his teeth are made of wood. And that’s creepy.” 
Jesus shook his head and said, “The wooden teeth are a myth. You really need to look things up on Ye Olde Snopes before you start spouting them off as facts.”
Jesus decided enough was enough. He told the King to return to England and leave the Americans alone. He told George Washington to declare independence and lead this new nation. Jesus then ascended toward the heavens with his arms raised and with a booming, echoed voice he said…
"Arrrrrmmmm dildos!"
The King returned to England as instructed and George gathered his most patriotic friends inside the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia. (It’s bigger on the inside.) They wrote up a document declaring independence from the tyranny of Great Britain. His friend John Hancock signed his name really big and George was like, “Dude, we all gotta sign this shit and we only have one piece of paper. Not cool.”
Then they attached fireworks to an eagle, it flew high above the Liberty Bell, and exploded in a feathery death of absolute freedom.
And America lived happily ever after.

thefrogman:

On this day in 1492, George Washington crossed the Atlantic Ocean in three mighty ships… the Nina, the Piñata and the Santa Claus.

Washington and the other Americans were fleeing the evil Britons. The Britons believed in taxation without representation and back then there was no TurboTax, so that was a really big deal. 

To infuriate the Britons, Washington decided to waste a bunch of their tea, dumping it into the sea. The Britons jumped in after the tea, trying to drink it as they swam around in it. All you could see were Englishman’s pinkies sticking up through the water.

One must always extend his pinky whilst drinking tea. 

This meant war. 

The Americans and the Britons lined up on two sides of a field. They raised their muskets and began firing at one another. At no point did anyone think to hide behind a rock or a tree. After hours of firing their weapons and making no attempts to dodge the deadly projectiles, the only two men left standing were George Washington and King Leopold Womplebottom the 8th.

They were both out of ammunition so they charged at one another with their bayonets raised. Before they could reach each other, Jesus Christ descended from the heavens and turned their weapons into armadillos. He liked changing things into armadillos because their name sounds so much like “arm dildos” and it makes him giggle. 

The Lord asked, “Why are you two fighting this battle?”

George replied, “He taxed us a bunch and took away our freeeeeeedom.”

King Womplebottom replied, “He wasted tea and I’m pretty sure his teeth are made of wood. And that’s creepy.” 

Jesus shook his head and said, “The wooden teeth are a myth. You really need to look things up on Ye Olde Snopes before you start spouting them off as facts.”

Jesus decided enough was enough. He told the King to return to England and leave the Americans alone. He told George Washington to declare independence and lead this new nation. Jesus then ascended toward the heavens with his arms raised and with a booming, echoed voice he said…

"Arrrrrmmmm dildos!"

The King returned to England as instructed and George gathered his most patriotic friends inside the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia. (It’s bigger on the inside.) They wrote up a document declaring independence from the tyranny of Great Britain. His friend John Hancock signed his name really big and George was like, “Dude, we all gotta sign this shit and we only have one piece of paper. Not cool.”

Then they attached fireworks to an eagle, it flew high above the Liberty Bell, and exploded in a feathery death of absolute freedom.

And America lived happily ever after.

(via rabababe)

dauntlessoldier:

4th of July posts

(via gloriousmonsters)

Rule one:  always post the rules
Rule two: answer the questions the person who tagged you asked and write 11 new ones
Rule three: tag 11 people and link them to the post
Rule four: actually tell them you tagged them

I was tagged by zuckergussprinzessin and I’m not going to bother tagging other people because fuck the police I do what I want.

1.) Invisibility or Flight?
Yes. If mathematician’s answer is unacceptable: invisibility. I often desperately want to vanish - pretty often even when there aren’t any people to see me. I’d be perfectly happy with invisibility even if I never used it in front of people, just sitting in my room invisibly chilling or using it as another layer of defensiveness when writing emails or smth. Flight would be fun, but also involves more exposure to the Outside World than I’m happy with.

2.) Regardless of whether you think it can be changed or not, do you believe in fate?
Nope! It implies a level of inherent design which I simply can’t believe in. Give me evidence that there’s something out there other than an uncaring cosmos and I may reconsider, but until then I’ll continue sticking my middle finger up at the concept.

3.) If you had to have animal ears (instead of your human ones), which animal would you pick?
idk rodent ears are p. cute i guess

4.) Why not wear more skirts?
They’re drafty, they make me feel vulnerable, they’re uncomfortable as balls, and I have never once in my life worn a skirt which didn’t wind up twisting itself around backwards at some point. I spent three years wearing a skirt as part of my uniform, and that was long enough for me to establish that no they will never be comfortable for me no matter what.

5.) Time travel: backwards or forwards?
Yes. Honestly? Probably backwards, that seems like the one scientists would be more interested in studying. Also, it means I can win the lottery, which is all I really care about as far as time travel goes.

6.) Do you have a favourite word or expression in a foreign language that simply can’t be translated into your native tongue? If so, which one?
idk not really

7.) What scared you most as a child?
Furbies.

8.) Something completely unbelievable happens to you. Do you tell anyone? If so, whom?
idk dude you’re going to be have to be more specific about what this “unbelievable” thing is because that covers everything from literal pot of gold at the end of a rainbow to alien abduction to accidentally walking through a hole in time and meeting myself last thursday, and I’m going to react to all of those differently.

9.) Superstitions?
more like bullshit amrite

10.) Last person you hit over the head with a blunt instrument hugged?
My dad.

11.) How do you feel about lemons?
They are delicious.

now go away and let me be miserable about my self-destructing insides in peace

worthyourweightinfanfiction:

stileinskii:

Just imagine if dragons replaced birds. I mean small annoying dragons flying around towns and beaches stealing your food, big exotic dragons living in remote places, friendly dragons, fierce dragons, fLIGHTLESS DRAGONS, dragons in zoos dragons in the wild i just dRAGONS

a band called Imagine Birds

Flight Rising as a bird breeding game. Hatoful Boyfriend as a dragon dating game.

(via unrepentantauthor)

wuckfit:

“No chemicals!” The label on a container reads. I open it and I am stunned. It is truly devoid of chemicals, they have finally done it, finally created a pure vacuum unmarred even when exposed to matter. Quantum physics must be rewritten. Scientists everywhere stand in awe at such a feat.

(via paradife-loft)

taracynara:

rainonsand:

perfection

this is terrifying in the most awesome of ways.

(via dedicatedfollower467)

telltaleink:

Let’s play Burn Read Rewrite. 
It’s like Kill Fuck Marry, but with  books. 
Put three books in my ask. 

(via unrepentantauthor)

flacodev:

inkystars:

birdbrainblue:

castleoflions:

bitch-pudding:

milesjai:

OH MY GOD. YOU ALL NEED TO WATCH THIS.

SHIT

I’M

WHEEZING 

I DIDN’T EVEN SUSPECT THAT OR SEE THAT COMING OH MY FUCKING GOD

You need to see it.

(via hereff)